Last week at the Red Cross

Well, here I am, two days into my last week at the Red Cross. For the most part it is a lot of report writing and organizing files. Quite boring indeed. Two more volunteers left from my group last night so we are down to 5 now. Four of us will leave next week and then it will just be Supy all alone. Don't worry, he's going back later in the month.

As i started this post I wasn't sure what I was going to write and it seems I don't have much on my mind. Well, much on my mind that I can post according to Peace Corps guidelines. Basically though, what is going on here is a combination of emotions. Frustrations coming to a head as the reality sets in that some things will just remain unaccomplished combined with the sadness of leaving friends and my Samoan family. It is truly a perplexing state of mind. In this state it takes a deliberate effort for me to focus on what has been accomplished. Although they tell you to come in with little to no expectations, it is impossible to last the two years without developing them. And even when you do, and you try to temper them to the local time frame and context it always seems like you end up aiming too high. I suppose that is not a bad thing though. I would rather aim high taking calculated risks and fall just short, than aim low leaving potential untested. Particularly in development work, because to fall just short does not mean no progress was made and no good has been done. It's not pass/fail, live or die, and I suppose understanding that is as important as anything in this gig.

To close this short post, I feel I have accomplished some great things in my time here and I have learned a lot. While I did not accomplish everything I set out to do, it was not from lack of effort or will or ability. As I wrap up my service those are the two most important things to me, the impact I did have and knowing that I took the risks, gave everything I had to Samoa and its people, and to quote an age old football saying, "I left it all on the field".