Leilani's house for some to'ona'i and I thought I better create a blog
post since I think it has been a few weeks since my last one and my
time is running out here so my opportunities for posting is rapidly
shrinking.
With my return to the states closing in I am finding that mentally I
am in two places, both in Samoa and thinking about life back in the
US. Of course I am excited at the prospect of being back with Whitney
and seeing friends and family. Coming back during the holiday season
will most likely be an overwhelming reunion event in which I will
undoubtedly be repeating the same conversations over the course of two
to three weeks. And if last year has taught me anything, it will be a
blur of hellos and goodbyes. While this is not the ideal situation I
will be happy with the opportunities to see loved ones that are
presented to me.
On the other side of the world my mind is frantically trying to
organize the last few weeks of my time here. With three major
projects all wrapping up at the same time, applications for graduate
school, Peace Corps Close of Service demands and the farewells to
friends and colleagues the task ahead of me is daunting to say the
least.
Both leaving Samoa and returning to the US present conflicting
emotions on both sides. While I will be sad to leave my friends and
fellow Peace Corps Volunteers and lose the aspects of daily life here
I have grown to enjoy there is also a sense of relief to see an end to
some of the chronic frustrations that are also present in work and
home life. On the other side of the coin I could not be happier to be
coming back to Whitney and being closer to family and friends. While
I am elated for those reasons there are things I am anxious about, of
course those that are to be expected; readjusting to sharing a place
after living alone for two years, figuring out what to do in the 6-7
months before we move from Texas, planning for the wedding, all the
basic stuff I'm sure most of you would anticipate. Besides these
there is one thing that I am not looking forward to, and that is being
once again immersed in a consumer society.
I know the mention of the topic probably sparks thoughts a radical
people and groups ranting and marching, screaming about the evils of
buying stuff but trust me that's not where I am at. However, after
living in Samoa on Peace Corps wages and in a country where the grip
of advertisements, commercialism and consumer manipulation is only
starting to emerge I have quickly come to realize that the consumer
mentality I had before I came here is something I do not miss. And in
the absence of constant advertisements and product placement the
desire to spend money on stuff other than what you actually need
dissipates. Of course I have bought things I don't "need" while I'm
here and have bought people birthday presents that were obviously just
for fun or enjoyment. An argument can be made that little things like
that here and there are ok and are even part of a healthy and happy
life. To a certain extent of course.
So basically what I am getting at is I am anxious to come back because
as I see it, it isn't my pay scale that resulted in this change of
mindset, it is the environment I have been living in that socially has
not yet transitioned to place such a high value on non-essential
commodities (though there is a transition occurring) and a physical
environment that is not constantly slapping me in the face telling me
the products I "need" to buy. I am not looking forward to the
pressure of the environment back home to buy, buy, buy.
I am working on my mental plan to resist that pressure and of course I
will buy some things as treats and a few things that I don't truly
need. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but with
everything in life, moderation is the key (except for fruits and
vegetables which you should all eat as much as possible!). I think
this is one of the best things I will take from my two years here,
when I look back it will be my experiences in Samoa I will treasure
not the things I bought, and that is the lesson I will take with me
for the rest of my life.
I know, real philosophical right?! For some reason I felt like
opening up and sharing a bit more today. But I think over the next
few weeks I will try to share a bit more of my insights and
experiences from this point of view rather than focus too much on the
actual goings on, though i will give you updates on any major things.
I just think you all might find it interesting. Of course if not, you
only have to put up with a few more posts! So it won't be that bad!
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