Last week at the Red Cross

Well, here I am, two days into my last week at the Red Cross. For the most part it is a lot of report writing and organizing files. Quite boring indeed. Two more volunteers left from my group last night so we are down to 5 now. Four of us will leave next week and then it will just be Supy all alone. Don't worry, he's going back later in the month.

As i started this post I wasn't sure what I was going to write and it seems I don't have much on my mind. Well, much on my mind that I can post according to Peace Corps guidelines. Basically though, what is going on here is a combination of emotions. Frustrations coming to a head as the reality sets in that some things will just remain unaccomplished combined with the sadness of leaving friends and my Samoan family. It is truly a perplexing state of mind. In this state it takes a deliberate effort for me to focus on what has been accomplished. Although they tell you to come in with little to no expectations, it is impossible to last the two years without developing them. And even when you do, and you try to temper them to the local time frame and context it always seems like you end up aiming too high. I suppose that is not a bad thing though. I would rather aim high taking calculated risks and fall just short, than aim low leaving potential untested. Particularly in development work, because to fall just short does not mean no progress was made and no good has been done. It's not pass/fail, live or die, and I suppose understanding that is as important as anything in this gig.

To close this short post, I feel I have accomplished some great things in my time here and I have learned a lot. While I did not accomplish everything I set out to do, it was not from lack of effort or will or ability. As I wrap up my service those are the two most important things to me, the impact I did have and knowing that I took the risks, gave everything I had to Samoa and its people, and to quote an age old football saying, "I left it all on the field".

Helluva Week!

Youth Health Fair and a GRE all in one week! I am glad it's over and
I wish I could say my busy weeks are all finished but I would be
lying. The Youth Health Fair was on Wednesday and the GRE was
Saturday, in American Samoa.

As things do here, there were a lot of last minute plans and
confirmations needed for the Health Fair so needless to say last
weekend and early this week were insanely busy. The basic premiss of
the fair was to bring rural students into Apia and give them an
opportunity to hear and participate in messages from health
organizations and government ministries. We invited the Year 12
students, that's like 11th grade in the US, from 9 schools around
Upolu island. Bus transportation was arranged and we had about 220
students attend the fair. We took a unique approach to the health
fair in that we did not just have booths set up and let the students
mill around through the day. Instead we organized 40 minute sessions
and split the students into 8 groups. There were 8 stations so each
group participated in a station for 40 minutes and then rotated to the
next. The overall message was "making healthy choices" and stations
covered topics like HIV/STIs, obesity, communicable disease, first aid
and safety, and cancer/tobacco. Student health assessments were also
carried out by doctors and nurses. Overall the responses to the event
were very positive and we are confident we reached the students with
messages they aren't regularly exposed to in the village. Hopefully
it is the first Health Fair of many to come in future years.

I won't go into specifics about the GRE because it is a stupid
standardized test that is a waste of money and time and universities
need to accept the fact that they need to spend the extra time and
effort to review applicants academic and professional history rather
than using short cut methods like the GRE that is not a true
reflection of anyone's ability and capacity for success in a graduate
program.

Moving on to my insightful thought for the day about development. It
has become very clear to me in my time here that development is a
double edged sword. The US, as well as other nations like Australia,
Japan and Canada have programs that offer aid in the form of money,
professional support or both to developing nations. There are
programs that work to improve education, health, gender equality and
other quality of life related aspects of development. Progress is
slow, as is expected but positive steps are made every year, or so it
seems. I will use health as a prime example, the developing world has
been working hard to improve immunization rates, infant and child
mortality rates, and malnutrition rates among other aspects of
health. These efforts have been effective at different levels through
the developing world. These changes are fantastic and are worth
getting excited about.

As these major improvements are occurring the health and quality of
life is declining in other areas as chronic disease begins to wreak
havoc on developing nations like Samoa. The influx of refined, high
fat, sugar and salt foods as well as mass production and increased
availability of cigarettes are two of the primary reasons for this
decline in health status. Unfortunately the manufacturing, importing
and sale of these goods are also associated with development, economic
development. This is just one aspect of development that has negative
impacts on these nations in transition. Unfortunately the countries
that are offering the support in development work are the ones leading
by poor example. Like the developing nations, health, among other
things, are sacrificed for economic "progress" in western countries.

As I finish my work in the developing world to return to the US to
begin work in solving some of our own problems back home I sincerely
hope those who take up work in Samoa and other countries recognize the
negatives that come with the positives. By taking the opportunity to
look at the western situation objectively, a local approach and
systems with solutions in mind can be established before some of the
negative impacts of development become intrenched in everyday life.
After all, to me, the goal of development work should be to create
equality, happiness and a good quality of life for everyone while
preventing manipulation and exploitation of the same people who we are
trying to help.

Those are my thoughts for the day. Now I am off to the internet cafe
for my favorite part of the day, talking to Whitney! I'll be putting
some pics of the Health Fair up on the Picasa Webalbum so check'em out.

The island is against me!

Here I am, Sunday morning recovering from another mystery illness. I
went to Savaii with the Red Cross Communications Officer and a
videographer working pro-bono for the Samoa Challenge II Health
Project to put together some media coverage for the project. We left
mid-day Wednesday and that night I am sure I spiked a fever. Woke up
the next morning relatively ok and ready for the day. Later on
Thursday the fever came back along with a splitting headache and loss
of appetite. Friday I think my fever went down to a low grade fever
by the afternoon but I still had a massive headache, no appetite and
added diarrhea to the list. Laid low Saturday trying to recover and I
am feeling a bit better today as I feel my body is starting to
recover. An amazingly strange illness for sure, one that I can't
quite put a name to. This of course means the islands of Samoa did it
to me.

I know that may seem crazy but I have actually had similar
conversations in the previous weeks with other volunteers in my group
about the islands being out to get us. It seems that more people than
not have been faced with more medical, social or job related adversity
in the last month or two than is normal. (for here) This has lead a
group of us to determine that the island is in fact out to get us and
is putting in its last effort to get us to leave early.

Despite those efforts I believe our group will persevere. In fact, we
have our first set of volunteers set to leave this week, as
scheduled! Let the trickling off begin. My group did all get
together this weekend at a beach resort for a farewell shindig.
Unfortunately since I felt like death I was unable to go which was
disappointing. I did not go to a lot of the group events over the last
two years because they were a lower priority for me than other things
I had going on but I made the effort to make sure I was free for this
one. But when an island is out to get you, that's a tough wild card
to deal with right?!

Moving on to the next topic I wanted to spend a minute talking about
Peace Corps Volunteer job expectations. This will give you a glimpse
of the difficulties volunteers face. Volunteers on average are young
adults, well by age anyway, some are pushing adolescence as far as
they can take it. So the majority of volunteers are in their 20s, a
significant number as young as 23 or 24. Fresh out of college, ready
to take on the world blah, blah, blah. A large portion of volunteers,
in the past and the new groups as well, are placed in schools and in
addition to teaching the students they are often expected to conduct
teacher training or co-teach. I'll use this example because it seems
the most universal.

This creates difficulties for two reasons. The first is related to an
old philosophical quote that goes something like, the truly wise man
knows what he does not know. That being said, I did know a damn thing
coming straight out of college and I still don't know a whole lot in
my mid 20s, ok, ok, late 20s. I supposed the older you get the more
you appreciate this. So a large number of volunteers are expected to
teach other teachers with the theoretical knowledge and limited
practical experience that they got from their college experience back
in the states. And do this in a school system that is modeled after
the New Zealand school system that is quite a bit different than the
US. Yes, difficult.

Second, how much clout does someone in their mid 20s have in Samoa,
generally? Consider this, you often find people in their mid 20s
still members of their church youth group. So the answer is slim to
none. That isn't to say their aren't people out there who understand
and appreciate educational and work experience and do not let age be
the overriding factor, but it is rare. I mean in all reality this is
a tough position to be in in the US, I can speak from experience.
When you come in to a job and are considered at a level that, on
paper, places you higher professionally, or even equal to, those older
than you and who have worked there longer, you are going to have some
winning over to do. Throw the fact that you look way different than
everyone else and you barely speak the language........yes, difficult.

It's no wonder the one-liner Peace Corps uses is "it's the toughest
job you'll ever love." Of course being in my late 20s now and knowing
everything a person needs to know, ever, so early in my life I have to
ask if there might be a better way to utilize volunteers that might
make expectations more reasonable. Of course it really seems
development work is not an exact science and there are many variables
that need to be considered, too many to count in fact. At the end of
the day we are having a positive impact whether it's through reaching
a few of the kids that are taught or connecting with a few co-workers
and sharing professional experiences and methods that make both
parties better personally and professionally.

At the end of the day I hope we are not satisfied with that. I am not
saying that is not a great achievement, what I am saying is we need to
make sure Peace Corps is working to improve every year. The world is
changing, when Peace Corps started we were going into places with no
education system or a barely functioning one. Now we have volunteers
going into well established educational systems that more closely
resemble western systems with teachers that have had at least some
teachers education. The same holds true for work in health, the
environment and other areas. Our ability to recognize this and adjust
the role and demands on volunteers may help make the "toughest job
you'll ever love" a little less tough and a little more effective.

This gig will always be a tough one and will always demand the best
and brightest in order to have a positive, lasting impact on the
countries we serve in. As we start to leave this week I just want to
give a big "fa'amalo" to my fellow volunteers in Peace Corps Samoa
Group 81, for their perseverance and great work over the last two
years. That goes for all volunteers around the world nearing their
end of service. Malo galue ma manuia le malaga. (Good work and safe
journey)

Psycology of ending Peace Corps Service

I'm sitting here on Sunday morning before heading to Misa and
Leilani's house for some to'ona'i and I thought I better create a blog
post since I think it has been a few weeks since my last one and my
time is running out here so my opportunities for posting is rapidly
shrinking.

With my return to the states closing in I am finding that mentally I
am in two places, both in Samoa and thinking about life back in the
US. Of course I am excited at the prospect of being back with Whitney
and seeing friends and family. Coming back during the holiday season
will most likely be an overwhelming reunion event in which I will
undoubtedly be repeating the same conversations over the course of two
to three weeks. And if last year has taught me anything, it will be a
blur of hellos and goodbyes. While this is not the ideal situation I
will be happy with the opportunities to see loved ones that are
presented to me.

On the other side of the world my mind is frantically trying to
organize the last few weeks of my time here. With three major
projects all wrapping up at the same time, applications for graduate
school, Peace Corps Close of Service demands and the farewells to
friends and colleagues the task ahead of me is daunting to say the
least.

Both leaving Samoa and returning to the US present conflicting
emotions on both sides. While I will be sad to leave my friends and
fellow Peace Corps Volunteers and lose the aspects of daily life here
I have grown to enjoy there is also a sense of relief to see an end to
some of the chronic frustrations that are also present in work and
home life. On the other side of the coin I could not be happier to be
coming back to Whitney and being closer to family and friends. While
I am elated for those reasons there are things I am anxious about, of
course those that are to be expected; readjusting to sharing a place
after living alone for two years, figuring out what to do in the 6-7
months before we move from Texas, planning for the wedding, all the
basic stuff I'm sure most of you would anticipate. Besides these
there is one thing that I am not looking forward to, and that is being
once again immersed in a consumer society.

I know the mention of the topic probably sparks thoughts a radical
people and groups ranting and marching, screaming about the evils of
buying stuff but trust me that's not where I am at. However, after
living in Samoa on Peace Corps wages and in a country where the grip
of advertisements, commercialism and consumer manipulation is only
starting to emerge I have quickly come to realize that the consumer
mentality I had before I came here is something I do not miss. And in
the absence of constant advertisements and product placement the
desire to spend money on stuff other than what you actually need
dissipates. Of course I have bought things I don't "need" while I'm
here and have bought people birthday presents that were obviously just
for fun or enjoyment. An argument can be made that little things like
that here and there are ok and are even part of a healthy and happy
life. To a certain extent of course.

So basically what I am getting at is I am anxious to come back because
as I see it, it isn't my pay scale that resulted in this change of
mindset, it is the environment I have been living in that socially has
not yet transitioned to place such a high value on non-essential
commodities (though there is a transition occurring) and a physical
environment that is not constantly slapping me in the face telling me
the products I "need" to buy. I am not looking forward to the
pressure of the environment back home to buy, buy, buy.

I am working on my mental plan to resist that pressure and of course I
will buy some things as treats and a few things that I don't truly
need. I don't think there is anything wrong with that, but with
everything in life, moderation is the key (except for fruits and
vegetables which you should all eat as much as possible!). I think
this is one of the best things I will take from my two years here,
when I look back it will be my experiences in Samoa I will treasure
not the things I bought, and that is the lesson I will take with me
for the rest of my life.

I know, real philosophical right?! For some reason I felt like
opening up and sharing a bit more today. But I think over the next
few weeks I will try to share a bit more of my insights and
experiences from this point of view rather than focus too much on the
actual goings on, though i will give you updates on any major things.
I just think you all might find it interesting. Of course if not, you
only have to put up with a few more posts! So it won't be that bad!

Clock is ticking

I'll forgo the usually rambling about not posting more often and just
say; sorry. Moving on to the meat of the post, yes, I have less than
two months to go. The two year anniversary has come and gone (rather
uneventfully I may add) and the count down is running. Some
volunteers in my group are actually under the 1 month mark. Due to
the winding down of the school year many of the teachers will be left
with little to do towards the end of November since final exams are at
the beginning of November even though the school year officially ends
in early December.

I know, you are asking yourself, what goes on for that whole month if
final exams are over. Well, since some volunteers are leaving in mid
and later November that should give you a hit. To be less cryptic,
not too much academic-wise, happens during that last month. As far as
I understand it, there are sports, singing, dance and drama practice,
all in preparation for the prize giving in early December. Some
volunteers will be sticking around until the prize giving but I can
also understand why some are choosing to go home before, especially to
make it home in time for Thanksgiving.

I was hoping to be one of those but my responsibilities for the Health
Project have created the obligation to stay until mid-December. I was
going to play it off like I had to stay and then come home early and
surprise Whitney for Thanksgiving but no such luck. Ah well, can't
complain too much, I signed up for two years and three months and by
golly it looks I'm gonna do it all!

There is lots to do as the calendar moves closer to December. Of
course we have all the paperwork and official hoops to jump through
for Peace Corps, shopping to buy presents for friends, family and co-
workers (or the village for those outside of Apia) in Samoa. Dido for
those back home, for which I expect certain reciprocations upon my
return having bought all those presents with my oh-so meager Peace
Corps salary. (hint, hint!) I have the unique pleasure of having to
go to American Samoa to take my GRE because evidently Masters Degrees
from Australia aren't good enough and the true measure of a person and
their ability to succeed in graduate school is via an overpriced
standardized test. Griping aside, there are no testing centers in
Samoa so I have to hop over to American Samoa for a night. The test
starts at 8:00am and there is an early morning flight but the
reliability of the plane is not that great so I will need to go the
night before incase there are delays or I have to catch a different
flight.

And of course I need to wrap up my projects! The Red Cross project is
a bit of a quagmire at the moment and I won't delve into specifics but
I will figure out some solution before I am out of here. The Health
Project has had its ups and downs as to be expected. Some villages
have dropped out due to low/no participation which is unfortunate but
not surprising. Other villages are doing ok and others really well.
We are really learning a lot from this first go round and I am already
thinking of some changes for the second round next year (which will be
someone else's responsibility, definitely not mine). That project
literally ends the last day I am in country. Well I will actually
have some work I will need to bring back with me to the states to
finish up but the initial evaluation meeting will be the week of the
13th the day of or day before my departure. Needless to say, I won't
be cruising through my last weeks here.

On that note I will get some work done on the health project ad leave
you there. Until next time.